Insights for Singles Looking for Love

The most severe form of compensational relationship is singledom. Now, please don't assume that all people who are in some form of relationship and that all people who are single, are in some sort of compensational trouble. That's too broad, but if a single person still hurts at the sight of their ex partner being happy, still blames their ex for break up, or still wishes that relationship had not broken up, with guilt or resentment, they are definitely in compensation mode in the next relationship, unable to turn up.

Compensators are people who live in a form of relationship that is in some way a reaction to the past. It may be theirwish to be free from heartbreak (bruises) or in control as a way to avoid being taken advantage of. Control is the most common form compensation. It seems that the more vulnerable some people feel the more control they require in relationship. This, in stark contrast to intimacy, is a form of sexualised or emotionalised expectations. It leads to the discovery that sometimes the most sexually enthusiastic partner is really just the most reactive, compensating person.
Love and vulnerability to heart break are friends. The less vulnerable a person is to heart break, the less they love, it's as simple as that.

My First Confession of Love

I was in love--actually what people call puppy dog love--and it was unrequited. I went past my shyness and told her exactly what she meant to me, but that wasn't enough. Actually, there's more to this story. Let me start from the beginning.
The first day of the new school year began with Algebra II my tenth grade year. The teacher wanted to assign us seats for us on where to sit. I was a little advanced with mathematics, so I was taking classes one year ahead of time. This young woman, whom I actually met for a few moments a couple months beforehand, was assigned to sit in the back row. For whatever reason, I wasn't on the roster, so I was last to be seated. The seats were full, so the teacher assigned me to the back row, next to the young woman.

This girl, with her long golden hair, green eyes, and pouty lips quickly grabbed my attention over the following hour. I couldn't stop looking out of the corner of my eyes to grab a glimpse of her beauty.
Like most school-year children, I became friends with whom I sat next to. We talked before and after class--and sometimes during. I don't exactly remember why, but the girl started to write me notes. I think it was because she was too bored during class.
Anyhow, we began exchanging notes. My high school used a "block schedule" where our classes would change depending upon the day, so that would leave one day in between to write a letter in return.
Side note: We actually had another class together, Spanish. We sat next to each other there too and talked, but we did not pass notes there. It was an Algebra II only thing.
After a while, I became extremely infatuated with her. I couldn't wait for Algebra II. Sadly, the young woman was absent quite often (I later learned it was because of her mother being incredibly sick and died shortly after the young woman's graduation. She wouldn't tell anyone about what was happening. Her mother was fighting cancer for a long-time.).
For whatever reason, I fell in love. She made me smile every time I saw her. She made me laugh. She was the reason I looked forward to school.
I began confessing my love for her little by little through our notes. I would tell her how much she meant to me, that I looked forward to our days in school together, and how beautiful she was. I asked her to be my girlfriend multiple times, with always a "you are a good friend" as a return answer.
The following year, her senior year and my junior year, we had Pre-Calculus/Trigonometry together. We still exchanged notes. As time for Prom came around, we were both dateless. Actually, I always assumed she was going with her on-and-off boyfriend. She kept asking me whom I was attending Prom with and I would always say, "I don't know if I'm going or not." After a while, she said she did not have a date. Nonetheless, I did not ask her. I was too afraid of rejection once more.
I did not attend Prom, and she ended up going dateless with some of her other dateless friends.
In retrospect, she was asking me to attend Prom with her. I should have asked.
The moral of the story is, if something is too good to be true, it sometimes still happens. Give it a shot. If you truly love something, keep trying until you succeed. I was stupid and let it slip through my fingers. Don't let the same thing happen to you. Take advantage of your opportunities.
Read some of Gary R. Hess's romance poetry or other pages on love.
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How to Get Him to Leave the Other Woman and Be With You

You want him for yourself even though he is with another woman right now. It is not that you don't know he is with another woman. It is that you want him for yourself regardless of what he has going with any other woman. So what strategy should you use to get him to leave the other woman and be with you?

1. Be his close friend! The first step in displacing the other woman is to find a way to sneak into his life and become an essential feature in it. The key here is for you to become an 'indispensable cog' in the wheel of his life as you want him to be unable or at least very unwilling to give you up. The least threatening way to do this is to become his friend. The steps to become an appendage like friend in his life is to:

a. Research him. Think of him as your new project and focus on this project. Do your homework and find out all you can about him without his knowledge as you do not want to freak him out. What does he enjoy doing? What are his interests? What does he spend most of his time doing? What does he do in his leisure time and where does he spend most of his leisure time? Knowledge as they say is power and the more you know the better you can streamline and focus your energy and efforts.

b. Develop sufficient skill and prowess in what he likes. You want him to connect to you intellectually or by your knowledge of what he loves and the best way is to have some level of knowledge or skill in what he enjoys or spends his time doing. Don't try and wing it with ignorance or poor knowledge as he will know quickly enough if you are just faking it and your ability to get him to leave the other woman will be severely compromised. You want him to develop a connection to you through the things or activities that he is involved in. The rarer your knowledge or prowess in the hobbies or activities that he likes the better will be your chances of connecting intellectually with him.

2. Connect with him at any cost! You must now find a way to spend time with him so that he and you can begin to share a special intellectual connection using your new found wealth of knowledge and skills. You don't want him to know that your motive is to impress him so your conversation should be casual just as it is when you talk to a friend. Let the conversation flow naturally and don't give in to the temptation to dominate the conversation with your interesting new knowledge. Give him enough conversation so that he remembers you favorably and would not mind hanging out with you again. And proceed naturally from there until he considers you as a friend with whom he has an uncommon connection.

3. Be feminine! To get him to leave the other woman you must let him see the woman that you are as you connect intellectually with him. Make sure that you keep reminding him that you are a fully grown woman who is unattached, interesting, full of joy and thinks that he is great; and that his woman must be one of the luckiest women on the earth. Your aim is for him to become increasingly enthralled by you and less with the other woman. When he complains that she is not treating him right be sympathetic but wonder aloud how she could treat such a great guy so badly but do not bad mouth her as you will come across as a shrew. Whatever wedges you see in their relationship use them to make yourself look good by letting him know subtly that you would never treat him like that but do not criticize the other woman out rightly. If you have been successful in becoming one of his good friends then opportunities to build yourself at the other woman's expense will abound and you must use them well.

If you follow these 3 steps then it's just a matter of time before he leaves the other woman to be with you. Once you have replaced the other woman you must keep doing what you did to win him over otherwise another conniving woman may also take him away from you. If his relationship with the other woman is solid then replacing her may take a lot more time and you must be sure that it's something you want to pursue as it will take a lot from you.

If you manage to become his friend but are not sure about his romantic feelings for you then I would recommend these physical signs of attraction or these signs that he likes you so that you can know what's going on with him. Rosy Anderson is a researcher in social economic issues and the way they affect decision making; and she enjoys writing and being in healthy, happy relationships.

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A Few Often Overlooked Tips for Getting Your Ex Back

When you are in a relationship and it ends, whether you ended it or the other person gave you your walking papers, you may, at some point want to win your ex back. The problem is that in these instances, most people do the exact opposite of what they need to do to get their ex back. That is why, if you will follow a few tips, you'll stand a better chance at reuniting with that special someone.

The first thing you want to do is to avoid trying to get back together with your ex with logic. The fact is that more than likely, the reason why you broke up in the first place probably had little to do with logic. Using it to win them back is not the best move. It is also one that tends to have little success.

The art of winning your ex back really has little to do with reality and often it has everything to do with putting on a show. The fact is that when the relationship is over, especially if they were the ones that ended it, it is easy to let it wreck you. The key here is to not let on that it did. You don't want to walk around smiling as if nothing happened, but by the same token, if you carry yourself like you can't seem to struggle through another day you come off looking more pathetic than desirable.

Impressing your ex with a new you seldom has any lasting power when it comes to getting back your ex. You might think that slimming down, tightening up your body, making more money and driving a better car and wearing more expensive clothing will have them wishing they never pushed you away. What typically happens is that this move draws more resentment than positive feelings.

Lastly, when you are really interested in getting your ex back, you need to do something that seems entirely counter intuitive to getting them back. You need to create a little space between you and your ex. Using a little time and distance might make it easier for you and your ex to seriously consider getting back together.

When memories of the break up are fresh and still brand new, trying to push for getting back together is not always a wise move. Letting things blow over and cool down may be all you need to spark the flame and rekindle the interest in beginning the relationship a new.

Low down now in our guide to all you need to know about getting your Ex back. If you need help and want it now then check us at http://www.relationshipsinsider.com/

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Birthday Gifts For Women of All Ages

Women love gifts. No matter what their age, every woman pines for a gift on her birthday. It is like their divine right to be showered with gifts on their special day. In this article, we will discuss about different birthday gifts for women of all ages.

It is not hard to pick up birthday gifts for women. There are certain gifts like chocolates, flowers and jewelery that are loved by women of all ages. Among these, women just love jewelery way too much. So almost any kind of jewelery will make an amazing present for any woman. There are also so many varieties available in the market to pick from. However, jewelery often tends to get a little out of budget. So, in case you don't intend to spend too much, you may think of something else. For example, something like pretty dresses may surely impress the lady. There is a wide range of different kinds of clothes to choose for women. Shoes are also a great option. They say a woman is never satisfied with the number of shoes she owns. You can pick from stilettos and ballet pumps, to even sneakers and slippers.

Apart from clothes and shoes, accessories also serve as great birthday gifts. A wide range of accessories are available in the market for women. Belts, bags, clutches, scarves, umbrellas and hats can be used by women of all age groups. And the fact is that even if they already own a number of them, they don't mind owning more of them. You can get them something depending on their favorite hobby. Say, books for a reader, flower pot for a gardener, baseball bat for a baseball lover and so on. If she is really close to you, write her a poem or a letter of appreciation. You can even get a picture of the two of you framed as a gift for her birthday. You may also choose personalized gifts like albums and greeting cards. If it's alcohol, most women prefer red wine. It is also a sign of celebration, and hence we think it makes a great birthday gift for her. To make it even more special, you can get her name or a message for her engraved over the bottle.

There are plenty more things that you can gift a woman on her birthday, because when it comes to women the list is endless. Impress her and she will be yours forever.

The author writes birthday ideas for the special day that comes once in an year. The author blogs at magazine for women for topics related to women.

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Why Do Men Cheat? How to SAVE Yourself From the Humiliation of a Cheating Spouse (Weird But True)

Why do so many men cheat? Why do men of any age, race, income bracket and even upbringing stray on their wives, girlfriends and significant others? Is it insecurity? Fear of commitment? Intimacy issues? Or maybe there is something hard wired into the biology of being a MAN, that makes cheating a natural extension of being alive?

Did you ever hear the old Chris Rock stand up "bit" about men and faithfulness? He says (at least in his comedy routine) that a man is only as faithful as his options. Do you believe that... or like me, do you KNOW that there is MUCH more to it than that?

So do ALL men cheat on their partners?

Absolutely not. According to most studies though... OVER 50% married men will stray at some point during their marriage, and considering more than 50% of marriages end due to infidelity, that number is actually most likely under-reported and much higher.

The REASON most men cheat?

Truthfully, some social scientists believe that men are programmed for variety by nature. That after the urge to "procreate" is satisfied, sexual variety is the next most powerful drive.

Now... I'm going to tell you a secret that MANY men will tell you is crazy, but it's really not:

There are plenty of men who are faithful. And FATE has as much to do with fidelity as physical desire. I believe that the BIGGEST cause of infidelity is actually because most people pick the WRONG partners.

For example, I have very rarely seen "soul-mates" cheat on one of other. Two people who you KNOW are meant together... STAY together. (and don't have the desire to get any "action" on the side)

I've seen it over and over and yet... OVER again - happy couples who are hopelessly in love, are the lucky few that remain in LOVE, (and in lust) for a lifetime. (or LIFETIMES, depending on what you believe)

I believe you make your own fate.

You create your own destiny. And in matters of the heart... and spirit, the UNIVERSE has a plan for you. And that plan does NOT include the "pain" of a partner who cheats. I really believe that each of us is given a number of paths to pick from... and throughout our lives, we are challenged, chided and even nudged to choose the right one. Far too many of us, especially WOMEN, choose poorly anyway... and this leads to a smaller life (and love) than we were created to enjoy.

It's up to you though to claim it... and find it and OWN it! (your happiness that is - AND the soulmate you truly deserve!)

Want to know the REAL secret to Finding TRUE Love? Click HERE for the Secret.....before he gets away forever.

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Just Broken Up - What Happens After

Each painful moment in life renders one helpless at the beginning. A break up can hurt you, no matter how much you try to make yourself believe that it doesn't. A breakup will also make you go through five stages of healing just like losing a loved one. Some cope faster while others remain paralyzed with the pain. These stages of healing are is not a time frame but is a guide to help you reflect on the healing process.

Denial. You'd probably be in a state of shock once you realize you had a breakup. It will keep you thinking what you have done to be in a hurtful situation. Pain is very very difficult to handle at the beginning so you try to numb yourself. You will drown your sorrows with drinking, partying, and dating other people. You'll feel good for a while but the pain will come back to haunt you again.

The stage of denial is normal after a breakup. In a way, you are simply trying to protect yourself from the pain by not accepting the reality right away. This is just a temporary stage that will usher you to experience the other process of healing.

Anger. After the denial comes the realization of truth. You are slowly acknowledging the fact that you have just been jilted. Denial is now replaced with anger.

Anger can make you do things that you will regret later on if it gets out of control. If left bottled up, it can make you even more frustrated at the world. Anger can make you sick if not expressed. Every person express anger differently. Thee are people who scream out in rage. Others use it as a way of creative self-expression or self-improvement. Whatever your case may be, use your anger to accomplish greater things. You can keep yourself busy and productive.

Bargaining. This is perhaps the most pitiful part of the recovery process but is however necessary. Negotiating entails revisiting the past and inventing ways to make your ex come back to you. Regardless of if you think that you do not really wish to get back with your ex, your subconscious tells you that you must contact your ex to return his stuff. It looks paradoxical, but actually, the negotiating period is the bit where plotting plots are lots. You can 'casually ' drop by his fave spot and 'accidentally ' bump into your ex. It may be something that screams desperation"like inventing a scenario which needs your ex's swift attention.

Whatever the case might be try your best to avoid those shaming situations. Surround yourself with friends who will help you move thru the process of healing. Cutting all method of communication with your ex is an important facet of healing. If you find yourself reaching for the telephone, leave your place and do something productive instead.

Depression. Depression is the bit where you are feeling extremely sorry for yourself. This is the time when you may feel most valueless as you don't feel loved. Depression begins when your negotiating for another shot at love isn't heard. But whether you want reconciliation or not, depression will continue to be part of your process of healing.

Folks do stupid things when they are depressed. Too much drinking and boogieing will make you feel much worse in the final analysis. Irrespective of how depressed you may be, avoid doing things that might harm you or your reputation. If you want to remain within your house for a week, so be it. Pour out all your feelings into a journal or release your depression by doing something creative.

Acceptance. Acceptance is the final stage of the process of recovery and the one you've been waiting to happen. Once you've accepted that your relationship has finished, you'll feel at liberty. You'd be surprised at how robust you became after going through all that pain. This is also a good time for you to bring good change into your life.

Once you've moved through the 5 stages of healing, you can look back to your past and say, "I'm a stronger and better person now. I'll handle anything that comes my way." With every struggle that you have got to go through, a reward appears in the end.

Patricia Crain is actively learning about personality development especially in the forming of relationships. She enjoys giving advice on dating, breaking up and coping with a breakup.

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Cheating Is Truly a Choice

When one hears the word cheating typically one's mind equates it with relationships, marriages (i.e. spouses), and folk stepping out. It is also connected to somebody doing somebody else wrong rather than the associations of illegalities in regards to the law. One can also couple cheating with lying, tricking someone, deception and the act of imposition. There are websites on how to retaliate on cheaters, discussions on talk shows on how to survive cheating; with experts on both sides of the fence teaching forgiveness and harmonious relationships after the act has occurred. One could spend all day just breaking down the terms and thought processes around cheating and its affects and effects. Yet today, I want to cut through the chase and look at it from a spiritual perspective.

It is with clarity and understanding that we live within the confines and construct of rules in regards to relationships; and many theories and thought processes are based on culture, environment, societal relationships and or norms. To peruse generational components in history deemed that one family was given the direction to begin the population of the earth (Adam and Eve). So basically there was quite a bit of co-mingling in regards to familial relationships present. Eventually as time moved along, the earth became populated. Kings had their pick of wives; however I'm sure no one notified the Shulammite wife that she was probably 610 on a scale of almost 1,000. Or it is quite possible she was aware because of time she lived in? It might have even been acceptable to her she wasn't the only one; and it could be Solomon's game was so tight that she was a lost cause on the first few words out of his mouth. In those times women learned to share, while men conquered in war, territorial possessions and at the home front. For the history of my people; our women were impregnated for the sake of propagating slave labor and raped for the pleasure of men who power tripped and had no consideration for men or women whose blood color that ran through their veins was of the same color as their own.

The reality is cheating is truly an act of selfish desire. I realize that studies show that men think about sex every 5-7 seconds and clearly we live in a world where according to societal norms cheating is normal. However, based upon God's concept it is not. Whether a man had two or three wives and concubines, he was still required to stay within that relationship. Leviticus 20 speaks of both parties, the man and the woman being put to death - this was under the law. There are many scriptures that speak to the actions of cheating and the consequences. So with an understanding, one might begin to approach the thought process of actions and consequences and the affect and effects of the marriage and community structure. We can no longer just accept that men cheat; for now women have now begun to roll just like the men. Some do it for lack of affection, while others do it for the love of sex. Regardless of the why's it truly is a lack of discipline on either party's part. See the first time might be hard for one's conscious and heart allows one to feel remorse, but in reality the second time around it becomes easier and a continuation of sequential actions now makes cheating "normal".

Rarely does the cheater look at the people that are hurt in the process and seldom do they truly process the outcome. Most men are apt to think if they get caught they will be forgiven or "it's no big deal, everyone does it", "it's part of life". There is no fear of the consequence or more so God himself. When one lacks a true relationship with the Almighty; the consideration of where He stands in view of one's life has little affect in the assumption of carrying out sinful desires. Or one is quick to say, "God will forgive me". Yet I want you to think about this, what if God chose to take your life in the process? What if you lost your wife or relationship? What if life-threatening diseases are incurred based on that very last act of cheating? See we as responsible people must begin to look at the end of a matter before we embark on the beginning of a matter. Learn to look down the length of time and make decisions accordingly. Learn to make healthier non-selfish decisions.

My divorce was a product of continual cheating. Apparently, he chose (the ex) to make decisions based on his own personal thought process. However, I am not responsible for his actions; I was and am only responsible for mine. Clearly he thought that his continual cheating would only produce an outcome of forgiveness and life would go on. However, one episode became the final act that was forgivable; but required I take action to release him out of my life in regards to our marriage. So it is with understanding that I can share the effects of spouses that cheat. Those sequential and non-conformable acts forever changed the life of me and my children. I can share this with you with no hint of malice or bitterness. Yet it is with clarity that I state cheating ALWAYS touches someone's life. Many people around town knew my story when the details became available, yet they do not know me. Even now, every once in a while I come across someone who is aware of the effects but not the affects because they don't know me personally. I am healed...now...but back then there was a sense of not having anywhere to hide or dwell from prying eyes and people who made a choice to be just plain out right inquisitive...excuse me I mean nosy...lol. There is no shadow of doubt in my mind that God became my sustainer of my life but more so my mind. There were days I walked around in constant pain, and felt that everyone I encountered could see through me; and often I had a sense of rawness that exuded within my spirit for I truly thought others had the ability to see my various pains. Even now it is hard to explain, I guess I might equate it to your skin being raw, like someone had scrapped the skin with a knife until all you see is shredded meat (flesh), tendons, veins and cartilage. Bro/Sis, I was one shattered soul. Oh, I thank God for His comforting arms as He taught me to stand and become resilient at all costs.

I believe that every time you choose to act out of selfishness and make a decision to sin, you open up spiritual doors in your life. Even when you supposedly "fall" into a situation, you have given the enemy a legal right to have access in your life. Now I am aware that for some people they truly do not care. But today I want to speak to your spirit man. See the problem with the enemy attacking our lives is he is quite aware of whom each of us is and what we are supposed to be in Christ. Hence, he knows his access to our lives is based on our past, immediate and future actions; and if he can keep us in the dark we never truly reach the goals that God has set for us.

See your life is not just about obtaining your goals, but more so the relationship with God directly. It was and still is His desire for each of us to imitate Him. Mind you none of us is perfect nor will we ever reach perfection; however we do strive for it...(and for this we labor and strive), that we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, and especially of those who believe (1 Timothy 4:10)...So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man (Acts 24:16) I can hear someone now....but I can't stop, that is because every door you have opened has opened another door, every time you have given the enemy access through the act of sex, more behaviors and thought processes and attacks (from satan) become more accessible; and you need to go through a process of spiritual deliverance. It might not be easy, BUT it can be done. Begin today by asking God for assistance and share with Him in prayer (communication) your true heart's desire; and ask Him for a change in lifestyle. Because man (woman) is a triune spirit then all that we do and act upon affects our body, soul and spirit. Learn to look for spiritual food, feed your soul and spirit and God will help you control your mind which translates to your eyes and actions.

Lord we ask with that everyone who is reading this right now become of aware of the issues in their life that they need assistance. We ask that you give them a spirit of forgiveness towards those that cheated on them and a spirit of repentance for those who have perpetrated the acts. In your word you told us that if we ask it shall be given to us and if we have faith as the grain of a mustard seed, our faith will grow. I ask that this word be planted on good ground and ask that you send someone else in each person's life to water it and assist in their growth in You. I speak deliverance to every spirit that binds and hinders in Jesus name and ask that you send not only spiritual guidance but your ministering angels to stand for every attack that might come their way. To every spirit of torment, I send peace, to every generational curse in regards to cheating and unclean spirits; I send joy, clarity and speak release. We ask these things in Your name. Amen.

Go in peace and I speak peace and blessings into YOUR life.

Seek to know that you might grow.

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With These Tips You Can Literally Have Anyone Fall In Love With You

Using some tips and tricks to make someone fall in love with you is not wrong. Sometimes in life you have to play a little clever to get what you want. But of course the final decision always lies in the other person's hands whether he or she really loves you or not. It's just that with the help of some times you can make yourself look and appear more wanted in the other person's eyes thus increasing your chances of being loved by that person. The tips that I will be mentioning in this article are not manipulative in any wrong way. They are totally legitimate and lawful and simply involve some rules in how to be you in order to have a better effect on the psyche of the other person.

The first step is to spend some quality time with that person. It's important that during this time you ensure that the other person really has a lot of fun with you. Be really charming witty and fun - loving all while being caring and compassionate. Make the other person have a great time with you. Do what that person loves doing and join them in whatever makes them joyful. It is during this time that the other person will realize how much fun they have with you around them. Once you are sure that they feel that way then you need to proceed to the next step.

The next step involves slowly stepping back from their lives. Start becoming less available. Make them feel and miss you not being around. After that retreat even more to being almost totally unavailable. The psyche behind this is that we human beings have a natural tendency to want what we don't have. This is the feeling that we attempt to provoke in this stage. Once they have gotten a taste of how fun their lives can be with you, you need to let them feel how life will be without you. They will begin to miss you and actually want you. When this feeling of want arises they will begin to crave you. Then start making small appearances and during these short appearances give them really warm smiles but still be unavailable. When you do this they will not be able to help themselves from falling in love with you.

Anyone with some effort can learn how to influence anyone to fall in love with them.

Do you ever wish to have a strong effect on men and how they respond to you? Attract Men Learn the Secrets of Magnetism http://sexual-fu.com/blog/attract-men-using-the-secrets-of-magnetism/.

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How To Attract Men The Confident Way

I don`t know about you, but I remember being in my teens and thinking that the way to attract men - or boys in those days - was to wear as much make up as possible and laugh loudly at everything they said. Needless to say that I was single for most of my teenage years.

I either wore the wrong clothes, said the wrong thing or acted in a strange way - I was not popular with the guys.

In my twenties, my social life hadn`t improved much and I decided that the way to attract men was to appear mysterious and unavailable. As I was not either of these things, I must have come across as being slightly deranged as I lurked in the periphery of gatherings peering out of my fringe. It didn`t help that I suffered from crippling shyness that caused my voice to rise an octave whenever a man spoke me.

It seemed to me that men were an entirely different species and the art of seduction was an alien concept. The problem was not so much as attracting a man, it was what to do and say once we were talking. I was clueless and embarrassed and it showed, I blushed furiously whenever I liked a man, which made it all the more of a problem as everyone knew that I liked him. Which just isn`t on!

Now, as a mature - and happily married woman - of some years, I can look back on my earlier woes with a smile. However, at the time it was no laughing matter and I would have done almost anything to have been one of the popular girls. The type that the boys wanted to date.

I now see that my problem was two-fold and that being is possession of one solution without the other, would have been of little use.

The two things that I was missing, was:

* Confidence
* Knowledge

It`s alright to have a healthy dose of confidence and great self-esteem, but without the knowledge of how to attract men, you can come across as arrogant and full of your own importance.

On the other hand, if you know the best way to attract men, but you don`t have the confidence to execute the strategy, you won`t even get off the starting block.

And so you see, one is no good without the other.

Having confidence in yourself, means believing that you are pretty terrific. Not in an arrogant way, but knowing that you`re a good friend, a great daughter, a trustful person etc. Once you know, with absolute certainty that you`re special, you will also know that you deserve to attract men - great men - and that they will want to be with you.

Knowing how to attract men is easy once you have the correct information. It`s the little things that are important:

* Make them feel special
* Pay them small compliments to massage their ego
* Be interesting, by developing your circle of friends and your social life
* Know the type of man you are looking for and start going to the places where they like to hang out
* Become interested in what they like so that you can hold a conversation about their favorite topic.
* Show that you`re independent and popular and that any man would be lucky to date you
* Always have a ready smile, so that if he is shy, you will seem friendly and approachable.

There are SO many more steps to tell you, but the ones I have given you are a great place to start.

So there you have it, the first few steps of the foolproof way to attract men with confidence.

Of course, this is only the beginning. If you truly want to master the technique, this is the place to visit find me a man

If you need to build up your confidence, I have found NO better way than this how to attract men

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Divorced Women and Love At First Sight!

As a divorced woman, you do not have much trust in love just now. It is understandable for you to feel that way; after all, your heart is just broken or at least bruised, therefore love is not what you believe in.

It is natural that you do not believe in love any more or at least for the present. However, you do not know what will happen in the future. Love will come when it comes, not when you want or do not want it to.

How many times you have heard people saying that when they kept searching for love, they could not find it, and then when they did not expect to find love, it just came knocking on their door.

Many people do not believe in love at first sight; they believe that for love to happen, you need to spend time with each other, learn more about each other, find out if you are compatible, if you can live with each other harmoniously (this one was not allowed in the old days), and it is very important, if you are sexually satisfied with each other ( this one too was not allowed), etc... They have some good points there; and their belief has been proven correctly many times. However, no one knows for sure if you fall in love with each other because you have all of those things, or you just fall in love.

And in many cases, people have all of those things and more but are not in love with each other; or if they believed they were, they got married, and down the road of married life, they say they are not in love with each other any more, hence comes divorce; when the truth is they have never been in love with each other.

Or you see that many people are wrong for each other, fell in love when they first met (love at first sight), got married, and will stay with each other until the end of their days. In these instances, people say opposites attract or there is chemistry between these people.

They say that because they cannot explain why these instances happened. The truth is love does not require any qualifications, does not restrict to any condition; in a word love is not discriminated whatsoever. When it is true love you have for each other, the rest does not matter; you will do anything in your power to make the other happy and ultimately, both parties will be happy.

Divorced or not, you should always open your heart, so when love comes your way, you are ready to receive and reciprocate. Your being hurt once or more does not mean you will be hurt again; and as I have said many times, you will use your experiences to choose prudently and then treat lovingly and respectfully, regardless of you falling in love at first sight or not.

Mai Bordelon, aka The Coach for Divorced Women at http://thecoachfordivorcedwomen.com/, helps divorced women to become stronger & happier, to achieve a life they dream of with a partner worthy of their love, and to never feel they are under anyone's mercy again. Copyright © 2010 My Little Corner, LLC. All Rights Reserved Worldwide. This article may be freely distributed if this resource box stays attached.

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The Best 20 Bible Verses About Love

As a human, we are guaranteed to do ONE thing during our lives no matter what: we will love. Love is a timeless emotion that can be exciting, deep, passionate and even unwaveringly loyal. But there are also bad things about love: it can cause wars, pain, suffering turmoil.

That's why, as Christians, we should learn about God's eternal Love. If we do, then we can do our best to TRULY love people during our lives. Our love can be selfless, instead of selfish. The best place to learn about God's Love for us is the Bible.

In the Bible, we see that God loved us so much that He gave up his only Son for our sins and us. If it weren't for this eternal, unconditional act of love, we wouldn't be saved. Praise God and read the Bible verses below to get a better, more fuller understanding of love!

# 20 - Psalms 42:11

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

The most important message contained in this verse is this: we should not be in despair. Psalms 42:11 tells us that we have no reason to be in despair or cast down. We, people who love and worship God, are saved. We praise Him because He loves us and he gave up His only Son for us. We should rejoice in His love!

Therefore there is no reason for us to be sad! Any time you experience sadness or depression in your life, all you need to do is remind of yourself of God's undying love for you.

# 19 - Proverbs 5:19

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.

When reading this verse in Proverbs, you must take a step back to truly understand the big picture. It teaches us about being satisfied with our chosen partner in life. We should be satisfied with by the love of this person, as an infant is kept satisfied by its mother's milk. If the wife loves the husband and the husband the wife, then it is a recipe for happiness.

So remember, when you choose your partner, you should be satisfied both mentally and physically. This should be a person that you respect loves you back. If it is, then you will always be happy in his or her love.

# 18 - Proverbs 10:12

Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.

Sin, strife and negativity are borne out of hatred - this is always the case! But, as this verse in Proverbs tell us, LOVE "covers" of these sins. Love, goodness and happiness will always conquer hatred, evil and sin. That is why every one of us should fill our lives with as much goodness as we can.

Love will heal us, so we should look to God's love whenever we are in need of healing, support and guidance.

# 17 - Proverbs 13:24

He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

If you love your children, you should always endeavor to teach them, even if this means punishing them from time to time. You would be doing them a disservice if you "spared the rod" and didn't punish them when they did wrong. If you love your family - teach them what is right and good in whatever way you can.

As a parent, it can be hard to scold a child that you love so very much (more than yourself, even). But you must be strong! Teach the child what is good and what is bad - even if sometimes that requires chastisement. They will be better for it.

# 16 - Proverbs 17:17

A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

This verse from Proverbs is a little confusing - both a friend and a brother should know love. However, it is a friend's nature to show love at all times. A brother's love is different from a friend's, however. Even though he should love at all times, he should always strive to fight for and protect his brother, even though he may face adversity while doing so.

Therefore, a brother's love is MORE powerful... even though he might have to endure strife and hardships to protect his kin.

# 15 - Song of Solomon 1:2

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.

The Song of Solomon is full of colorful, passionate language about love.This verse is a simple celebration of love at its most basic expression - the kiss! The kiss can unite lovers, families and friends. It is universally understood as an expression of love. Love between two people can be more exquisite and enjoyable than all other earthly pleasures!

# 14 - Song of Solomon 4:10

How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of thine ointments than all spices!

This is yet another verse in the Book of Solomon that celebrates the simple beauty and joy of love. Although there are many different kinds of love, they all share a similar core that brings us joy. How lucky are those who are able to love God, family and friends!

Love is compared to many pleasing things throughout history: a wine, a flower, a sound or a smell. And even though we can get wrapped up in the poetry of love, we must never forget what a serious, passionate emotion it can be.

# 13 - Song of Solomon 8:6

Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame.

All of us should be able to wear the love we have in our hearts like badges of honor on our sleeves. Love can be passionate - so passionate that it feels it will outlast even death itself! And although love can inspire jealousy that feels as cruel as torture, it is always worth the risk!

You should be proud of the unconditional love you have for people. It is an amazing thing to have. Every time we love someone we are honoring God's love for us. Be proud!

# 12 - 1 Corinthians 13:4

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

This verse in Corinthians reminds us that by giving to others we can express our love. Charity, a common expression of love, represents some of the most important things about the thing called love. It is kind, long, it does not envy and it is not concerned with itself. It is completely selfless - a perfect expression of God's undying love for us.

We should be reminded here that love should be selfless. If we love someone, we should not care to receive anything in return, even if that is something we desperately want.

# 11 - 1 Corinthians 13:13

And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

This verse in Corinthians reminds us of what we should hold dear in our lives: faith, hope and charity. However, it emphasizes that charity should be the most important. Charity helps others and it is a completely selfless expression of true love. It is the best way to spread the love of God to the people of the world!

Just think of what the world would be like if more people were charitable! It would be a kind, loving place and no one would have to fear. And although there are many very giving people in the world, not all of us are all of the time. We should work more often to be this way!

# 10 - Colossians 3:14

And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness.

This verse in Colossians that teaches us again about the importance of charity - it is the selfless expression of love that we should show the world as faithful Christians. Through charity, we can improve the lives of others without asking for anything in return!

Sometimes it is hard to put this into practice. If we are charitable, then we are not receiving anything in return. We must think about what God and Jesus would do during our days. Would They worry about receiving? Or would They give? Just like Jesus gave up His life for our sins?

# 9 - 1 Peter 4:8

And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

This verse in Peter means that if we are repentant, loving Christians... we should try to show love to others. By being charitable, we can show others and God that our love is pure and meaningful. Do your best to make the world a better place when you repent for your sins.

It might not always be easy, but it is best for your life and the lives of others if you are charitable and repentant. Volunteer, be selfless and always put others' needs before your own.

# 8 - 1 John 3:16

Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.

This verse is telling us that we should use God's ultimate example of unconditional love - Him giving up his only Son for our sins - as guidance in our own lives. If God was able to give up His Son for us, we should be able to provide for our brothers and sisters in a similar way.

Every day of your life doesn't have to be full of extravagant, love-filled gestures, but we should always remember that the least we can do is to treat people with kindness. If God's Son gave up His life for us, we can act least be nice to our fellow man.

# 7 - 1 John 4:9

In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.

Once again, this verse from the Book of John instructs us how to treat the other people in our lives. If we can attempt to love others even a fraction of the way God loves us, we could make their lives and ours better.

That is why keeping God at the center of our lives can improve so much! Our lives can take on a whole new meaning if we try to love our brothers and act like true Christians. We should be filled with love - not hate!

# 6 - 1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

Whenever we are truly, deeply in love with someone we shouldn't feel fear. There is no fear in love - only passion, understanding, and kindness. Fear results in torment, misunderstandings and heartbreak. When we love God and others, we should be faithful in that love.

If we are in love with someone, the worst thing we can do is FEAR. We must let ourselves be consumed by the love. Some people fear change or commitment, but we shouldn't. Love is a pure, amazing thing. Humans are imperfect and things can happen, but the act of love will always be the same.

# 5 - 1 John 4:8

He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.

This is an extremely important verse in the Book of John. This verse tells us that God IS love. If God is love, and we desire getting closer to God, we should learn to love more deeply and more fully than ever before.

This might be the most straightforward Biblical advice on love in existence. If God is love, then love is good (like God). It is also pure and holy. This is why when we feel love, we need to remember it is sacred. It should be treated with respect - and so should our fellow man.

# 4 - Song of Solomon 8:7

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.

This verse in the Song of Solomon so eloquently defines love - it cannot be drowned and it should be one of the most important things in our lives. Take this to heart when you think about your love for God. This love (and God) should be at the center of your life.

If it is, then you can be strong during times of strife. You can survive against the raging waters and not drown.

# 3 - John 15:13

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

If any of us were to lay down our life for our loved ones, we would be emulating the greatest act of love of all: Jesus dying on the cross for our sins. If we could put our loved ones first in our life, we could get that much closer to God.

This is never easy to do, but we should always strive to do it. Just think of how a mother would feel about her children: she has an undying, unconditional love for them. If we could express a fraction of that love to more people, we could improve so many lives - even souls.

# 2 - Song of Solomon 2:16

My beloved is mine, and I am his: he feedeth among the lilies.

This simple verse in the Song of Solomon summarizes love famously - if you love someone and they love you, you will be in a world so wonderful, as if sweet smelling lilies surrounded you. Now, the real world isn't fantasy, but true love is real. And when you love, your world can be so much better.

Each one of us has a different mental of image of what love it like - you might think of sweets, flowers, perfumes, silks or passion. But love is a universal language. No matter what it means to each of us, we all feel the same love!

# 1 - Ephesians 5:25

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

This final verse about love from the book of Ephesians is one of the best verses to read when you're curious about the love in any relationship that you are currently in. It applies to every single one of us and we should take it to heart. Husbands should love their wives and wives should love their husbands - it is simple as that. Relationships can be complicated, but if we can keep unconditional love at the center of our hearts we can make our lives, and the lives of others, so much better.

So learn to love God more deeply and more truly if you want to become closer to Him - if you need help understanding, please read more on GodVine's online Bible!

Read and search the entire Bible online, including King James, American Standard, Basic English and other translations.

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Learn The Art Of Making Someone Fall In Love With You

With all the advancements that the world has made how can you still not believe that you can make anyone fall in love with you? We are now empowered with so much knowledge that it would be a shame if we still aren't able to achieve the one thing in life that matters the most to everyone. And that is having the person you love, love you back. Many people waste their lives reminiscing over their loved ones simply never trying to win their hearts thinking negative things that they are not good enough for them or that they will never be attracted to them. All this is just bullshit. You can literally have anyone love you only if you play your cards right.

When it comes to making someone love you, the trick is to get their heart pounding, to give them butterflies in their stomach and just make their hearts race each time they see you. Though all these fancy words seem to be too fancy to be true they actually are. Medically there is a word to describe this feeling that we get inside our bodies when we feel in love. The term is called phenylethylamine or PEA for short. This is a chemical close to amphetamines which are secreted by the nervous system. Each time we come into contact with the person we love your nervous system starts secreting more and more PEA in your blood stream.

Now the whole trick here is to give the person you love this same feeling. There are certain ways in which you can achieve that. First of all, when you come into contact with this person, gaze in his or her eyes. Gaze with a fresh smile in order to convey that feeling of love that you have inside your heart. It has been proven that when you smile at a person more than ninety - eight percent of the time you will be returned by a smile too. When you make the other person smile back he or she too will get that warm feeling inside. After that when both of you are locked in a gaze try looking deep inside for a long time. The other person might look away and when he or she does you should slowly part eyes. This helps have a dramatic effect in making the other person feel attracted to you.

Your ability to make anyone fall madly in-love with you is based on a science. Learning what those techniques are and how to apply them can make anyone fall deeply in love with you.

Do you ever wish to have a strong effect on men and how they respond to you? Attract Men Learn the Secrets of Magnetism http://sexual-fu.com/blog/attract-men-using-the-secrets-of-magnetism/

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Love And Our Expectations

During life, we all seek to know someone well enough to feel love and be loved; we seek to connect and be a part of another person's life. When we look for love, sometimes we are looking for a lot more than love itself. We are not just looking for someone to be with, but we are also looking to fulfill everything we need in life. We want understanding, someone by our side; we want companionship, sentiment, and all the desired characteristics we find attractive and need in another person. Love has a big list to fill, or so we think so.

Finding love can be a lot easier when we let go of all that we think we need because love can be enough all by itself. It is when we get distracted by our other needs that we forget or even overlook the love that is or can be there, for finding love isn't about finding the criteria we think we need in another person. Love is more than our list of what we want. Love, true love, can be in a very different from what we would ordinarily find attractive or essential to our needs. Imagine if you were more open and aware of what your true needs were and instead looked from this place? Imagine if you let go of all you think you need in order to fall in love with someone? By letting go of your agenda of what love is and needs to be, you can feel love for the sake of love. If you let go of how it must be, you can feel it from a more pure place.

We may not even see the love that is available to us because of our biased idea of how it must be for us. True love, the person that really fits us, does not always come in the package we deem essential. If you let go of your idea of the perfect match, the perfect love, and allowed yourself just to feel and be open, who would you see? What person in your life have you overlooked simply because they didn't fit in with your idea of the perfect mate? What relationship are you stuck in because you believe this is what love should be, even if you don't feel it? Love can come from the most unexpected places. Do not keep yourself stuck in a loveless relationship because you think it is ideal and fits with your expectations. Do not ignore the possibilities based on your assumptions of what this other person may or may not be. Open yourself up to everything around you and lose your criteria for love. Love encompasses more than you think, and it can overshadow all you have ever known so far. Let yourself find love by escaping from what you think love is. Open up to love with no ideas of how it has to be. When you do this, finding love is a lot easier, for you give yourself a chance to find the love you are meant to be with.

Open up to the peace you will find when you finally see yourself, your true self, and learn how to truly be in the moment at Answers in Writing.

Adam Benedetto and Zoe Young are both dedicated to enabling others to reach their full potential in life, to help others release what is holding them back, and to find their true selves. Through years of experience and development, both have sought out the answers we all need to find peace, understand ourselves, and reach enlightenment.

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Designer Relationships

The Elements and Principles of Designer Relationships (Part 1)

The concept of a Designer Relationships may sound frivolous on the surface but in this article you see a demonstration of the parallels between relationships and the Elements and Principles of Design.

Art and Life reflect each other with such precision that it really is difficult to say whether they truly are separate things. For the sake of argument, we will treat them as though they are. In general the goal of both Design and Relationships are the same, harmony. This is what ultimately attracts or repels us from people, places and things.The tricky part is how social/cultural ideals move and shift our perspective on what is identified as harmonious.

In American society, where free thought is popular (if not encouraged), the diversity of perspectives is even more pronounced than usual. With this in mind it is easy to see why we have challenges finding friends or lovers that share are values in relationships or what art may constitute a thing of beauty. The nuances of artistic perception play directly into attitudes toward romance, communication, insight and, at times, compassion.

The elements discussed here are components of universal law. They represent the base material we all work with to create our collective reality. What we are actually seeing is that the same tools we use to create/invent things of beauty and advance function in the world around us are the same tools the "Intelligent Designer"used to create us.

As we emerge from the adolescence of our species, it is fast becoming a time where we are consciously making our own decisions about what and who we are. We are becoming self-aware creators in our own right. This article dares to lift the veil and shed light on the subject of our awakening.

Line:The first installment of universal source code.

In design as well as relationship line is the component of law with the greatest influence on final structure. Line gives us direction, allows us to make connections between points, people, ideas and so on. It divides space, establishes boundaries, thought processes, creates patterns and adds flare. Line defines the expression. It is the bones.

The behavior of the line tells us whether or not something is balanced. Careful observation of the line is primary to good relationships and beautiful designs. Look at the line. Is it long? Is it flexible? Is it thick or thin?The answers to these questions reveal your directions, follow them.

The misapplication of the laws of line result in what we have come to be very familiar with and that is problems. In quantum spiritual language it would go something like this; the misapplication of line creates a distortion, imbalance or dissonance in the energy field (fabric) of your relationship/design. If you recognize these events in any aspect of your life, younow know what is happening. Understanding is another matter entirely.

As we follow the line's transition from point to point, around bends and back again, the first dimension of our journey comes to a close and gives rise to the phenomenon of shape.

Shape: 2nd Dimension

When we first meet a person we establish a line of communication. A continuum of exchange begins between the two. In this moment we are collecting information, gauging the boundaries, discussing the terms. If we find enough aspects to convince us to pursue further, things begin to take shape. We start to decide how we want to relate to this person, who you are as a unit. Shape is the form or format we use to relate, determining the inner space or internal environment of the relationship. It is the mysterious emptiness where things start to grow, setting up perameters that can take the form of a prison or a palace. To keep your relationship in shape, start with lines that are strong and well defined. Respect and awareness are the glue that holds the integrity of the shape you've created.

Certain forms/shapes do not work on certain figures. Square pegs and round holes come to mind. I wouldn't recommend this to a friend. This may be hard to believe but we don't need conflict to add interest to our interactions. Sometimes we do wonder if we should force it, we settle, we allow opportunity to be swallowed by doubt. Do not doubt that we can find the people, places and things with the right angles and curves for a comfortable fit. When they make the round hole there is usually a complimentary peg that goes with it.

Color: Dimension 3

Stimulating complexities come alive as we enter the third dimension of relationship building. The full spectrum of our relationships can be seen from this perch. The true flavor of the interaction comes to light, nothing is just black or white here. Culture, political views, gender roles and personal history plays into the the color that your relationship takes on. With this element we see why we are together, it expresses the personality of the relationship. The temperature, value and intensity of hue can be seen. Sense of humor, levels of intelligence, eloquence, etiquette, sex appeal are only some of the things that add color and fun to the relationship.

In this realm it is easy to become dazzled and distracted by the illusions that color can create. Through observation of the aspects of color we gain understanding of the reasons that brought us this far. It takes all angles of the prism to create a full spectrum revelation and allow the true colors to shine through.

Texture: 4th Dimension

This is the outcome. How do we feel in this relationship? What effect is it having on us? Is it rough, hard, stiff or luxurious, romantic, healthy? The most sensual qualities of the union are revealed in texture. In the fourth dimension of creation it is crucial to know, with clarity, what each sense is telling you. You must know your heart from your head, your spirit from your subconscious, your ego from your true self. When a person is a sophisticated observer of texture, a liar will only be fooling themselves. The person who recognizes texture will know just what you're made of. They'll know whether you are natural or synthetic and whether or not they hold in their hands a thing of quality.

Textures are created in certain ways, made of particular fibers. Processes can be applied to soften a fabric or exchange between people but no matter what you do you will not make satin out of wool. Texture will show us exactly where we stand at the end of the proverbial day.

The Elements of Design or Designer Relationship can be used to conceal the truth or reveal it. The seasoned observer can extract the truth of the matter however, your response to the realities of your relationships also have laws found in the follow up article Principles of Design (Part 2 of Elements and Principles of Designer Relationships ).

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The Four 'Cs' To a Meaningful and Lasting Romance

Anyone who knows anything about diamond jewelry understands the four Cs used to describe a diamond's quality - color, cut, clarity, and carat weight. Although color and carat weight are prominent factors, no woman dreams of a large yellow diamond or a colorless stone the size of a gnat's head. And while cut and clarity play a role as well, we need all four characteristics to describe a quality stone. The trick is finding the right balance, or compromise, between the four characteristics. In a similar vein, a different set of four Cs governs the quality of our romantic relationships. But before we delve into the four Cs and the notion of 'lasting romance,' let's spend a minute on 'meaningful.' After all, what good is a lasting relationship if one or both partners find themselves in limbo between unhappy and miserable?

Couples who brag, "We've been married for thirty years" or "We've been together since grade school" demonstrate commitment and maybe compromise. But are these relationships meaningful? Maybe. Maybe not. Some believe the quantity of time spent together outweighs the quality. For others, it's the opposite. But what if you could have both, in terms of emotional quality and emotional quantity? Who says the honeymoon phase has to end? Why do some couples make it look so easy while others become the poster children for dysfunctional behavior?

With people working longer hours and the ever-increasing demands at home, it can be hard to establish a meaningful relationship. Add the constant temptations from cell phone texting, instant messaging, online dating, Myspace, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc., and it seems, at times, more difficult than ever to commit to a meaningful and lasting romantic relationship. Although a positive attitude and a six month subscription to your favorite online meat market can go a long way toward finding your next date, chances are you will not enjoy a meaningful and lasting romantic relationship without acknowledging the four 'Cs.' What are these, and why should you care? That's what I'm about to explain.

Chemistry

Let's start with chemistry. Like magnets that either repel or attract, chemistry either brings us together or pushes us apart. How do you define chemistry? That depends on who you ask. A person's outward appearance? Their tone of voice? Their smell? Their air of confidence? Their aurora? A combination of a few factors or all of the above? In any case, the definition of chemistry is not nearly as important as recognizing whether or not we feel it in our romantic relationships.

Sometimes chemistry is subtle. Sometimes it's palpable. And sometimes we find chemistry with someone we least expect - someone with the wrong height, wrong weight, wrong age, wrong hair, etc. Yet somehow we can't fight the urge to get close to this person despite our intellect telling us they don't fit our preconceived mold of how a perfect partner should look. That's because chemistry knows no boundaries. It isn't solely dependent on someone's height or weight. Or by the color of their skin or the type of car they drive. And it isn't driven by logic or reason. Unlike some aspects of romantic relationships, chemistry can't be faked.

Often, people choose their partner based on a list of personal preferences or preconceived notions of who they think a perfect match should be while ignoring the absence of chemistry. At times, partners fail to acknowledge the lack of chemistry and wonder why their relationship never felt right in the first place. In the absence of chemistry, the romance will fizzle sooner or later.

Remember, chemistry ignites the fire, but it also keeps the fire burning. Unfortunately chemistry isn't something you can work on. It's either present or not. This partly explains why many promising relationships fail despite their best intentions. The chemistry we feel or don't feel is part of being human. It's engrained in our DNA and just as complicated to understand. People often confuse chemistry with love. Love can develop over time, but chemistry is more intrinsic. You might not feel it instantly, but you should feel it early on in a relationship. Without chemistry, you're missing a key ingredient. When the right chemistry is there, it's usually there in a big way. Chemistry also helps facilitate 'C' number two: communication.

Communication

So now you've met that special someone and you're feeling the vibe from one another. Don't run off the tracks by failing to communicate. Chemistry signals the desire to want to be with someone. Honest, open communication provides the foundation from which all else is built. Without good communication, your relationship is doomed. Every time.

Unlike chemistry, however, we can control our communication habits. In this age of text messaging, we tend to forgo a simple conversation in favor of a sterile, two dimensional set of alphanumeric characters transmitted like a fast telegram. You can spend time texting or emailing someone from your favorite dating site, but you will learn more about each other in a one minute phone call than you will after weeks of electronic communication. Afraid of the phone? Get over it. Buy a disposable phone, call from a payphone, or use one of those secure and anonymous lines from a reputable dating site. Better yet, get off the PC and explore the real dating world. You never know who you'll find unless you take a few minutes to look around.

The human voice is a powerful tool. In many ways it conveys a lot about you. It hints at your personality. Quiet or extroverted. Loud or soft-spoken. Articulate or tongue-tied. Friendly or abrasive. Sensual or rude. Our brains are wired to filter memories, good and bad, from past relationships or casual encounters with people you'd rather forget. For some people, verbal communication is easy. For others, it takes practice. Typically, the more you get to know someone, the easier it is to open up and communicate freely on different levels. No deep thoughts here. Just common sense.

Men are stereotyped as poor communicators and many fulfill that expectation. Though in today's electronic communication world, many women hide their feelings behind text messaging as well. For either sex, sending messages in a cone of silence is like trying to start a fire in the rain. Although the importance of verbal communication cannot be stressed enough, it only represents one side of the coin. As humans, we often speak with our eyes, our facial gestures, and our body language. Hence the importance of face-to-face communication. Direct eye contact, firm handshakes, warm hugs, big smiles, and soft touches provide positive reinforcement. We've all heard the cliché, "It's not what you say but how you say it." And how you say it has as much to do with your non-verbal cues as it does with your tone of voice.

Unlike chemistry, which is either present or not, communication can be improved over time. All it takes is the desire to do so. Every person is unique. Every communication comfort zone is different. Some women gab constantly. Some men talk incessantly about themselves. So let her chat. Let him rant. Share your thoughts, share your feelings, share a joke you just learned - but share something. Keep the lines of communication open. Compliments are a beautiful thing. Hold hands, make eye contact, and be receptive to your partner's communication style. Now you're on the path to more intimate communication and 'C' number three: commitment.

Commitment

Commitment runs in series with chemistry and communication. First you feel the chemistry. Then hopefully you open up more and exercise your communication skills. If you're serious about a lasting relationship, you commit. If you can't commit to a relationship, you have no hope of sustaining one. That's assuming you're not part of a swinger's club, and even they have ground rules.

Commitment implies more than a grin-and-bear-it attitude. If the chemistry is there and the lines of communication are open, then commitment should be something you want, not something you run away from. If you can't commit, you should ask yourself what your true motives are. Fear of commitment is common and isn't necessarily a bad thing if both you and your partner are in agreement with the terms of your relationship (i.e., one night stand, fling, friends with benefits, etc.). Commitment implies a willingness to stick with your partner through the good times and the not so good times. I'm not talking about marriage, necessarily, but a common desire to sustain a monogamous relationship versus testing the pool of candidates.

Sometimes partners begin with a strong commitment to one another, then over time, the commitment wanes. Why? Lots of reasons. Lack of communication for one. Lack of real chemistry for another. If your romantic relationship doesn't sizzle early on, chances are the commitment from one or both partners will eventually fade. This often results from a dearth of common interests. In a Stepford world, every couple would enjoy the same hobbies, the same tastes, the same music, and find common ground on every topic or new adventure. In reality, romantic couples share a subset of common interests, desires, beliefs, and so forth. Commitment does not imply you have to abandon who you are fundamentally. It simply means you're willing to bridge the gap between a casual affair and a more meaningful relationship. And while commitment itself is important, it also hinges on our ability to address 'C' number four: compromise.

Compromise

Mick Jagger said it best when he first crooned, "You can't always get what you want." The act of compromise involves a give and take. You don't always win, but you don't always lose either.

Compromise functions best at a 50/50 ratio. If your idea of a compromise ratio looks something more like 60/40, 70/30, or 80/20, then you're not compromising - you're either officious or you're giving in. For some couples, compromise is a four letter word; for others it's inherent. Anytime you can turn a win/lose situation into a win/win, you're improving your relationship. Compromise is about letting go of control. It's about understanding your partner's desires and staying cognizant of their needs. If you're committed to an open, honest relationship with great chemistry, then compromise should be something you welcome, not something you shun.

Sometimes romantic relationships arrive at an 80/20 ratio, or thereabouts, where one partner gets 80% of what they want while the other partner settles for the remaining 20%. This happens for many reasons linked to strong or weak personalities, fear of losing a soul mate, or for many, a simple desire to please their partner. In this example, the "80% partner" enjoys the freedom to pursue what they want, when they want it, whether it's choosing the movie, planning every outing, owning the DVR, dictating the weekend events, etc. In contrast, the "20% partner" goes along for the ride, afraid to challenge their partner's wishes. In the beginning of a new romantic relationship, this disparity can be workable, for awhile. Eventually, however, the "20% partner" will start to feel slighted. The chemistry might persist, but the excitement from the new relationship wears thin when the "20% partner" begins to resent the absence or suppression of their own interests, hobbies, beliefs, or personal routines they enjoy. Some individuals feel controlled or manipulated by their partner who insists on having everything their way. Eventually, when the see-saw doesn't balance, it breaks.

Good compromise provides good balance in a romantic relationship. When two people care for one another and share a mutual respect for one another, they learn to compromise with one another. The notion of a 50/50 compromise implies a utopian state. No relationship maintains a perfect balance all the time, but couples who work at maintaining an even keel, by learning to give in from time to time or reciprocating one pleasure for another, tend to thrive.

Compromise isn't always easy. It involves effort and commitment. But compromise doesn't have to be arduous either. If you practice open, honest communication, you can find a mutually beneficial approach to almost anything. Be perceptive to your partner's needs and try to see things from their perspective. The more you understand and appreciate one another, the easier compromise becomes.

So where does this leave you? That depends on where you are in your romantic relationship and where you're trying to go. Obviously, the four Cs I've described are not the only components of a lasting and meaningful romantic relationship. Our lives are governed by many variables, including our stage in life, state of physical and emotional health, children, former spouses, friends, family, and other influences. Timing, geographics, and logistics also add to the mix. Romantic relationships are also dynamic, evolving, and seldom propelled by logic or reason. If you don't feel the right chemistry, move on or accept a platonic partner. If you can't communicate, try harder. Your ability to commit and compromise depends on it. The four Cs are not absolute, but rather, a quartet of common sense guidelines most people are familiar with - yet often fail to act upon. If you remember nothing else, remember to keep smiling and maintain a positive attitude about life in general. Look inward and decide for yourself what is most important to you. Our lives are what we make of them. The same can be said for a meaningful and lasting romantic relationship.

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You Show Him Interest, But He Ignores You - Is There Any Chance of Making A Relationship Work?

You really like him and with every fiber of your heart and body your single deepest longing is to be his girlfriend. But when you show him your interest in him he ignores you and you are getting frustrated and discouraged. You are now wondering if there are any chances of making a relationship with him work. Is it possible to turn his lack of interest into attraction and fascination with you? What can you do to fascinate him and get him interested in you?

1) Do your research and understand him. To get him interested you need to understand him and what it is that he likes and is interested in. You can discreetly observe him or casually ask about him from his friends or colleagues. The more information you have about him the better equipped you will be so that you know exactly who he is, his personality and his relationship status. You need to see him beyond how much you do like him so that you can interpret his lack of interest in you on the basis of knowledge. Is his apparent lack of interest in you just his inability to handle women effectively or is it because his personality makes him react in a way that appears uninterested or is he in a relationship with someone else or is he interested in another girl? If he is emotionally entangled with another girl then a relationship with him may not be possible right now and you may need to bid your time until his present emotional entanglements untangle.

2) Start at friendship. Making a relationship work with him requires that he notices you and all your great qualities and the surest way is to work at being his friend. Casually talk to him or his friends and build a relationship with him or his friends and let him get to know you as a friend. Do not rush the friendship but let it develop slowly and naturally. You want his interest in you or lack of it to be based on who you are and not on some preconceived notions that he may have. And be strategic in your friendship so that you ensure that you are a real friend who listens to him and spends time with him. If of course he has no interest in your friendship then there isn't much else you can do. The truth is that a relationship involves both of you and he MUST develop an interest with you and if he never does you may need to chalk that to life's experiences and move on. You cannot force anyone to like you; they either like you or they don't. But a good friendship often helps you both to 'see' each other better so that you know who it is that you are attracted to and he gets to know the great person that you are.

3) Ease up on the interest. Making a relationship work requires that you stop pursuing him as the more you chase the further he runs. Work on understanding him and being his friend and once those two things are done, then and only then can you let him see your romantic interest in him. And do it when you know that his attitude toward you has changed and he now appreciates you and sees the good things that you have. Observe him to know when the time to do this is right as you don't want to mess it up after all your hard work. Timing is everything as if you do it to soon he will bolt and if you take too long another girl might come along and steal his heart as you watch.

Making a relationship work with a man who is not interested in you requires that you are deliberate and strategic by following the 3 steps given.

However if you are still not sure that his opinion of you has changed then use these 15 signs of a man's interest to determine if he really does like you but if you just don't know how to attract him to you then use these attraction tidbits to guide you on what you can do.

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How To Know a Man Loves You - 4 Ways To Be 100% Positive That He Does

Oh the ups and downs of being in love; including all the joy, the pain, the romance and the heartache. Being both argumentative at times and intimate at others is all a part of the 'couples package', yet how does one know whether they have arrived at that level of commitment or not?

How can you really tell whether the person you have been seeing is in love with you for the long-term, or just using you as another practice round to polish his skills?

Below you'll find several nifty little 'tips' that will help you determine just that!

If you can't check at least one or two of the following traits for your man, within so many months of your relationship, chances are it's probably best to talk it out, or move on...

1. Is He Interested In Your 'Day to Day'?

A man who likes a woman, and I mean really likes her, will put forth some level of effort into being there for her as much as he is able. Busy schedules and planned agendas is the norm in modern society; and realizing this, he would take action to see her as many minutes/hours/days out of the week as he could.

Does he ask how your day has been going and legitimately seems interested, entertained, or concerned with what you say? If so, good sign!

For him, and for you, to be able to freely express yourselves is a great way to feel connected and strengthen the bond you have been developing.

2. Has He Introduced You To His Close Friends and Family?

If he genuinely does love you and everything about you then he will feel absolutely secure in his decision to introduce you to his immediate circle of family and friends.

Before you came into his life these people were the core foundation of his world aside from his career and personal goals. They have already won over his heart and know a lot about him, and vice versa.

So introducing both parties shows that he has established the same deep connection with you that he feels for them as well. A very powerful and sincere action that proves how much his feelings have developed.

3. Does He Sacrifice His Personal Agenda For You?

A truly committed man is one who will vow to punctuality when the two of you plan a date together. If he gives up some of his time with the boys (ie: poker games, Xbox 360's, bar hopping, and Sports Central shows) then you can feel rather safe with the fact that he is into you; a little more than a lot.

4. Has His Appearance Taken a Turn For The Sexy?

A man who finds you interestingly appealing will strive to put off the same 'vibe' in return. If he didn't sense that he held the capacity to fall in love with you, he would shrug off the notion of trying to woo you with his masculinity.

If you notice his appearance and attire look sharper, match well, fit better and smell good, you can rest assured that he aspires to become eye candy for you and only you.

BONUS: If he makes an even better effort to maintain his personal hygiene, including but not limited too, washing/combing his hair, cleaning his teeth, and straightening up his surroundings (bedroom, home, car, etc.) then I would go ahead and assume that he wants to make an outstanding impression!

Someone may just be falling in love...

Now Get This ~

He may be exhibiting several of the above methods, which would indicate he is genuinely falling for you, however that might not mean he is ready for commitment.

I'll let you in on a trick that stands the test of time and has worked for thousands of women struggling with love. Knowing this one method could certainly save you the hassle of ponderously waiting for his love to either come to full fruition, or drop like a rotted core. Plus, you can use it to make him fall madly in love!

Pay Close Attention Here -

On The Next Page You Will Discover Very Rare Psychological Tricks Which Will Give You The Ultimate Power To Attract any Man, Make Him Fall In Love & Get Him To Commit To You & Only You, Forever - Click Here

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How to Have a Great Relationship

Has the fire gone out of your relationship? Does it feel like you're stuck in a rut and you can't figure out how to get out of it? Are you and your partner just going through the motions? If you want a really great relationship then you have to put in the time and effort to create it.

Great relationships take work! They don't just happen. The people involved in these kinds of relationships have put in a lot of time and effort to make them that way. They have made their relationships the most important thing in their lives.

So here are some great tips on how you can help to create your own great relationships.

Number One: Make the decision that you are going to make your relationship the very best it can be. Just making this decision will get you off to a great start.

Number Two: Understand that great relationships are not created overnight. They take time and a lot of effort. Be willing to put in the effort and go the distance.

Number Three: Be willing to make sacrifices and compromises. When you sacrifice your needs to meet the needs of others you will eventually find that your needs are being met too.

Number Four: Learn to listen deeply to what your partner is saying. This is one of the greatest skills a person can acquire. When your partner is speaking, make sure that you are looking into their eyes and giving them your full attention. And don't interrupt them while they are speaking. Wait until they finish before you speak. This will let them know that you value them and what they have to say.

Number Five: Focus on the "little things." The big things tend to take care of themselves. Most of us want to do the really big things but it is the little things that have the biggest impact on relationships over time. Spend some time thinking about the little things you can do to make your partner happy.

Here are a couple of suggestions. When your partner is out mowing the yard take him/her a glass of cold lemonade or water. On the way home from work, stop and pick up some of their favorite candy. Do things to let them know you are thinking about them.

Number Six: Keep the lines of communication open. Never stop talking to each other, even when you're angry at each other. As long as you are communicating with each other there is hope. Many relationships have fallen apart because the two people involved stopped talking to each other.

Following these suggestions will help to improve your relationships by leaps and bounds and you will be on your way to creating your own great relationships.

Did you know that you can create the kind of relationships you want in your life? It's a lot easier than you think. Want to know more? Go to My Incredible Relationships.

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No Matter What I've Done or Not Done, I Am Worthy of Love

People often share stories about how unique they are.

How good or bad things are compared to how good or bad things could be, should be or would beThat's EGO and you have to be very careful listening to EGO.

There's a law of nature, "Nothing is Ever Missing it Just Changes in Form" and with this in mind you can understand the following conversation:

Two men walking side by side were discussing the challenges one was facing. With a worried sad feeling in his heart, shoulders stooped, Bob starts. "Things at home with my wife are quite challenging" ... then Pete replies with a smile "Yeah, me too." Bob continues, with tears in his eyes, "I just don't have any certainty about the future" Pete replies with a cheerful light heartedness, "yeah, me too." Bob's getting even more grumpy, "I'm just totally frustrated and confused" Pete replies with a whoop and a laugh, "Yeah, me too."

Bob finally turns to Pete, "you know if you keep telling me that everything that's going wrong in my life is also just as bad in your life, I'm going to punch you." Pete turns to Bob, "well it is, and punching isn't going to change that, maybe it's your expectations that could do with a punch. Seems your expectations of a challenge free relationship, of certainty about the future and the absence of frustration need a kick in the guts. Really, Bob, you are no better or worse than anybody."

You see, we get the idea that being unique is the high end of life, and for our EGO this is absolutely the truth. The more unique, separate, individualised, separated, and complicated our personality is, the more we feel that we've hit the heights, turned on the lights. But it's not 100% true.

There are two ways to see the world -- one is material the other is spiritual. One asks how separate and unique am I, how successful, wealthy and therefore safe am I? This is the vital function of our EGO.

In opposition to this, in competition in fact is LOVE.

Love doesn't ask how unique, different, safe, separate am I, it asks how the same am I?

Why does being the same breed love and why does being different breed EGO?

Individualised people can do incredible things, and often, but not always that quest to do incredible things is driven by the perception that this individual is not lovable, not worthy to be loved, as a failure, or as a normal human being. That reach for the stars is often underpinned by incredible discontent, a yearning from the deepest void, please see me and accept me. I am worthy of your love.

And the person who finds love, asks for no such recognition. However, they may still reach for the stars, this time however, they are motivated to share the love, not gain it.

To share the love one must be in a deep zone of comfort and that zone is, without doubt a sense of worthiness.

I am loved... I am lovable... I am worthy of love

No matter what I've done or not done, I am worthy of love.

This is the mantra of the heart. It seeks no approval, doesn't compete for better, or superiority. It expresses itself in love, from love to cause love. In such a relationship, this individual will not be bound by permits, rules and decisions to cause their own confinement.

This is never easy to comprehend for a person immersed in the struggle of EGO, The Ego blocks the heart, and although every EGO driven person has that heart and soul sounding loud and clear in self worth, their capacity to hear it is diminished. And from that diminished capacity a relationship becomes the voice on the outside replacing what nature and creation already implanted in every human heart, the ability to love ourselves first.

To love ourselves is not built on EGO. Whatever we achieve,say, think, do, give, spend, own, create, birth, or destroy can be taken. So, it is really the equality of our humanity, our ability to recognise that nothing is ever missing just changes in form, that really gives us the insight to get past our ego and say:

"No matter what I've done or Not done, I am worthy of love"

Chris Walker < http://www.chriswalker.com.au/ > is a visionary business consultant and of the world's leading facilitators of Personal/Professional Development. Author, consultant and professional speaker, his considered a leader in the field of human potential and lifestyles for success. His VIP and Mastery Programs have been attended by thousands of individuals around the world seeking tools to live life and manage their careers to their fullest potential. http://www.chriswalker.com.au/

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That Loving Feeling

Her fingers brushed his arm. Her touch burned his skin; the kind of heat that tingles, sends a warming sensation to his loins. His breath caught. He looked down at her. Her eyes, warm pools of desire, looked up at him with longing.

Remember that feeling? Is that feeling only possible at the start of a relationship or can it be kept alive for years? Romance books flaunt it. Movies capitalize on it. Is it a real feeling? Is it lust or can it last?

We've all had that experience. We try to recreate years into our relationships. Do you know the couple that still has it? What are they like? Do they have children? We all want that. It's the reason we date, the reason some have affairs. Is it reality?

There are couples who've been together 40, 50 plus years. You see her look up into his eyes. He takes her hand. They glow. How have they managed to keep that ultimate feeling? Years of work. Romancing each other. Listening to one another. Loving. Can all couples have this?

That feeling is out there. It's our task to grab hold of it and not take advantage of it. It's a gift. It is possible to experience it more than once, but do you really want to take that chance? Life is too short to hope you'll run into that feeling again. You may not get to enjoy as much next time or miss it all together. Love love.

Follow me on Facebook, http://www.facebook.com/linda.bowers.bolton, and Twitter, http://www.twitter.com/lindalou42, for the latest on my romance writing and blogs.

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