Thursday, 11 August 2011

Insights for Singles Looking for Love

The most severe form of compensational relationship is singledom. Now, please don't assume that all people who are in some form of relationship and that all people who are single, are in some sort of compensational trouble. That's too broad, but if a single person still hurts at the sight of their ex partner being happy, still blames their ex for break up, or still wishes that relationship had not broken up, with guilt or resentment, they are definitely in compensation mode in the next relationship, unable to turn up.

Compensators are people who live in a form of relationship that is in some way a reaction to the past. It may be theirwish to be free from heartbreak (bruises) or in control as a way to avoid being taken advantage of. Control is the most common form compensation. It seems that the more vulnerable some people feel the more control they require in relationship. This, in stark contrast to intimacy, is a form of sexualised or emotionalised expectations. It leads to the discovery that sometimes the most sexually enthusiastic partner is really just the most reactive, compensating person.
Love and vulnerability to heart break are friends. The less vulnerable a person is to heart break, the less they love, it's as simple as that.

If you walk a tight rope, you can wear a harness in case you fall. The experience of walking the tight rope will feel great, but there's nothing so wonderful as dropping the safety harness, the balance pole and all protecting and simply walking the tight rope. It seems mastery, risk and love might all collide.
My observation is that the more we love, the more we expect, and the more we expect, the more troubles we have in relationships. So, great love comes at great challenge.
The most important thing, from an Innerwealth perspective is to have a process to sort through your challenges in relationship. Given that the more you love, the more you expect and the more you expect the more challenges you'll have in love and relationship, the process you have for dealing with challenge must really be the clincher for long term happiness.
I've seen some crappy process people use for dealing with challenge. These include, but are not limited to: Denial, Sweet Talk, Control, Manipulation, Religion, Yoga, Anger and Distraction. None of these deepen love, they just make relationships that are stuck, liveable.
Want deeper love? Take off the singlet. Follow the seven steps for Innerwealth. There's an automatic clearing of the past and the learning of process for deeper love.
Seven Steps For Awakening Innerwealth
1. Letting go of Ignorance and poor motive from the Past. Be Free of Blame.
- Beyond Anger
- Beyond Greed
- Beyond Hatred
2. Become aware of those things that support and challenge Your Love.
- Mindful of Body
- Mindful of Feelings
- Mindful of Mind
- Mindful of objects
3. Focussing Your life on Love: Love as a Lifestyle.
- Doing the right thing
- Fixing and preventing doing the wrong thing
- Be aware of causing the right thing
- Sustaining and holding the right space
4. Creating a Long Term Outcome With Love
- Diligence
- Energy
- Awareness (focus)
- Penetration
5. Awakening
- The strength of Confidence
- The strength of Energy
- The strength of emotional and mental Stability
- The strength of emotional and mental Concentration
- The strength of true Understanding
6. Moving to Higher Levels of Love
- Full attention
- The Universal Laws - Cause and Effect
- Energy
- Joy
- Ease
- Concentration
- Letting go
7. Humility the True Depth of Love. Return to the Beginning.
- Loving Kindness - Give joy and happiness to others.
- Joyfulness - Happiness for ourselves and others that causes no harm.
- Equanimity - Give and act unconditionally
- Compassion - Remove suffering from others
The Path to Awakening Innerwealth
1. Letting go of Ignorance and poor motive from the Past. Be Free of Blame.
You throw off the 3 dark emotions and recognise that love without them as a burden, is beautiful. With this step we enter a new future, new relationship everyday, moving continually forward, striving for more awakened, peaceful and happier states of mind.
2. Become aware of those things that support and challenge Your Love.
You develop the 4 awareness of mindfulness. You become aware that what you think and what you do, has consequences far beyond what you can see. You realise with great astonishment that secrets are not secrets, that intention is as powerful a driving force toward Love as any action or movement. What lies beneath our activities is as important as the activity itself.
3. Focussing Your life on Love: Love is a Lifestyle..
You learn the 4 secrets of right effort. You'll recognise that there is a limit to the time we have and that time itself is extremely precious as a measure of Love. You learn from the past that, even wanting something to happen does not cause it to happen without right effort. You learn to refine your energy usage, directing your effort toward those things you choose. You learn to experience, cause and effect.
4. Creating a Long Term Outcome With Love.
You discover the 4 basis of success and in doing so tap your deepest humanity. You recognise that you are not a super-hero or magician, and that nature has gifted you with certain unique talents. You learn that there are important outcomes for your life, and that you can only work hand in hand with your natural born gifts to create what you wish for. You start refining those activities and focus on your gifts. You don't want to leave this planet with our beautiful, natural talents all bottled up inside of you. This becomes a priority higher than relationship and in so doing, binds the relationship in magnetic love.
5. Awakening
Merging to create outcomes greater than the two of you. The five faculties of Perfect Love lift us into positions of social responsibility. Here, we learn to trust those things within us that have no name, no measure, no form. These are the essence of great leadership. We become capable of guiding others.
6. Moving to Higher Levels of Love
Seven factors of awakening bring us closer to realisation of our own unique spiritual potential. Here we can direct our efforts toward healing and guidance of others. Our own needs are already satisfied. We become absolutely unconditional in ourwork. We realise that we have graduated from the physical, emotional and material limits of young love and can now incorporate these as well as higher, previously unheard of levels of love with our partner.
7. Humility.
We return to the first step, and begin the journey a second time. Humbled, and without the distractions of the first, we re-live every step facing the world with loving kindness, compassion joy and equanimity. We are teachers, or helpers and extend a hand to those who reach out for it.
Innerwealth < > is a real life, everyday, raw and nature based awareness that helps people live from the inside out. It opens hearts from past challenges, frees vision, inspiration and life purpose and gives rise to true human potential in all the seven areas of life. Innerwealth is also a process, a process that helps people deal with everyday challenges, tap their intuitive nature and live, in a sense, guided from within. A leaders edge, a lovers heart.
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